You can learn both!

Laura and I are both curious…personally and professionally. We’ve learned that he power of a good question is unlimited. The right question can unlock insight, context and wisdom. It can open doors to desires and motivations. It can give you access to someone’s heart and hopes, their expectations and fears.

How you ask the question is as important as the question you ask. This book is designed to give you questions that invite curiosity, compassion, courage into your relationship. Laura and I use them a lot in our professional counseling practices and in our own marriages. And I can tell you it’s much easier for me to ask them at work than at home, but that’s because the stakes are higher with my wife.

You’ll need to decide together – as a couple – that you care about working on your relationship. There are lots of ways you can do that, including therapy. There are also lots of good reasons NOT to go to therapy: Too expensive, too scary, too inconvenient. Maybe one partner isn’t interested. Maybe one partner thinks therapy is sham.

The purpose of this book is to get you on a path to relationship health. It will not be as effective as a good therapist. But, if you take it seriously, and commit to a slow and steady process. You CAN experience an increase in your relationship satisfaction, intimacy, and edification.

If will commit to asking these questions with care, you will experience more intimate conversation, more intimate connection, and more intimate conflict.

For many, “intimacy” is often code for “sex.” In reality, intimacy is so much more. It’s a deep sense of emotional, intellectual, physical and even spiritual connection. These questions are designed to help you chase a more holistic form of intimacy.

Keep this booklet close. Put it on your bedside table, or bookmark it on your phone. Get excited about asking, and feel free to tailor the questions to your own, specific context. Our hope is that by asking, you will get to know yourselves and one another more fully.