Fighting the Right Enemy with Glenn and Jodie

I have a question that I've been asking people just because I think it's fun and I'm interested. Do you have a favorite letter of the alphabet?

I'm partial to J with Jodi because I can do a big loop with my signature. I like that.

Yeah.

I like a because it's the beginning. Yeah, yeah, it's a start.

Yeah.

What does that tell you about us? I don't.

Know.

He's about. He's got new beginnings.

I don't know, I've started asking this question a lot. I tell you, when I tell you what my favorite letter is, it's going to tell you that I'm weird. And I think about things a little bit too much. And, sometimes the way I think about things doesn't make sense to a lot of people. Yesterday I was at my gym and at my gym every day to have a question of the day. So like, people just ask it. And I think yesterday was something like how? I'll ask you this question, too. Between the time your alarm goes off and the time you get out of bed. What's the gap? Is it instantaneous? Do you snooze seven times? Like how long does it take between the time your alarm goes off? The time you get out of bed?

I actually set an alarm, but I always wake up before beforehand.

That's the best.

I my alarm is just as a precaution if I should oversleep. But I pretty much wake up every day around the same time, between 6 and 7. Just even on weekends. Oh.

Yeah.

And I'm his alarm.

I'm a snoozer.

Right.

A definite I'm a night owl. So, you know, Jody's in bed. Usually by nine, 930 at night. Yeah. I'll be up to 1 or 2 in the morning and it's. I don't think that it's so much that I'm trying to, you know, prove something just by staying up longer than she does. But it's I don't know, my dad was that way and I think my grandpa was that way is probably genetic to some degree.

I'm with you. I need I need at least 15 minutes of by myself. Time in my house after everybody else has gone to sleep. It's like, almost like a it's almost like a melatonin of its own. It's like I just actually need to be by myself for a little while. And sometimes 15 minutes becomes a couple of hours. But, I'm the same way. My family is, my family goes to sleep, I have the house to myself, and that's an important time of night for me. So, I don't think that's right or wrong. I think it depends.

On the movie or something. And I'll come down. Sometimes I'm like, he's not in bed yet. It's like 4:00. And he'd fallen asleep on the couch.

Yeah.

Yeah. And that before. But a lot of times, you know, since we own basically two businesses. Yeah, there will be work to do. Yeah. At night. Yeah. We're pretty good about setting boundaries between work and home. Working from home. It's very convenient for me to pick something up that maybe requires 10 or 15 minutes. Yeah, and then get him engrossed in something else. Because I'm a little bit A.D.D.. And before I know it, a couple of hours have passed. So.

Yeah, I feel like.

It's very, challenging. Very tricky.

Yeah.

Anyways, back to me.

Yeah. You just say it with her.

No. So I'm at the gym yesterday, and they're asking this question about the alarm clock, and meanwhile, the trainer is telling us to stand on one foot and with the other foot, draw the alphabet with our toe just to stretch out, like, just to get our ankles moving. And, and it occurred to me as like, do you have a favorite letter? I asked the lady next to me and guy next to me, and they were like, I don't know. So we the whole gym then took over. The new question is about ten of us, and we all talked about our favorite letter in the in the moment. And it's wild because people are all over the map and they have different reasons and some of them.

But I, I'm partial to P. I like the letter P. So, I like it for a lot of reasons. I like the way it sounds. I like things like pepperoni pizza and pumpkin pie and Pepper Potts. That just makes me happy. I like that P I like the p has, like, a little secret. Like, you can have, like a hard P, and then like the, the what? That's like, if you can have Pittsburgh, you can also have Philadelphia, which I think is kind of cool. And, I like that P is both like straight and round. So it's you got like a straight, so you got this. I know, I know, this is the way my brain works. I think about this stuff all the time. I've just been walking around going, I wonder if everybody on the planet has a favorite letter and an a thorough explanation for why they have a favorite letter.

Well, your favorite letter is probably your least favorite audio engineer. He's always you're popping your P's. You're popping.

Who is that? Right.

I'm a reformed recording engineer. So it's it's in my DNA, I guess, to to try to make sure that those transients and plosives don't intrude in the signal. In the pure signal.

Right. On.

How many people are in your house?

Well, we just empty nested. So I've got, my wife, Rebecca. We've been married for almost 30 years. We got married in 97. But our first date was in 96, so we've been together. January 11th was our first date. So this will come out after that. I think you're right about that. So January 1196 is our first dates when we together? About 30 years. Oh, this is a fun story that's outstanding. On our first date, we went to, the Olive garden for dinner. And we saw in the theater the movie The American President, which is a Rob Reiner film. And, yeah. What's his name? Aaron Sorkin wrote that movie. That maybe holds up. So every year on January 11th, we go to the Olive garden and we watch the American president.

And,

It's actually a little bit more important to us than our actual anniversary, which is in August. But, we have two daughters and they are both, adults. So, my older daughter just graduate from college, and my younger daughter just grabbed her from high school, and they're both home right now for the holiday for kind of the winter break. But they're also both heading out on their adventures, a little bit later in the spring. So at the moment there are four people in our house, but we're headed to to here, pretty soon. About you guys.

Well, it's just been the two of us. He has, two children from a previous marriage, and they're both grown. Yeah. They're grown. They're in their 30s, and they would stay here, but they didn't primarily live here because, they live just down the street, actually, not far from us. So it was easy enough to see see them on a fairly regular basis. But they didn't need to live here. But they stayed here on occasion. Okay. With just the two of us.

And how long have you guys been together?

Together or. Well, first we'll do.

Maybe I'll let you take that.

Well.

Oh, it's messed up.

Yeah. Our first date was, we met, December 28th, at a Christmas between Christmas and New Year's party. And, then our first date was New Year's. I was like, pretty tricky. Make sure you get a kiss on the first date. But the first date was New Year's Eve on 2001. And then, we got married in 2004. We were going to try to get we were going to get married earlier, but I don't know how much you know of our story. He proposed to me, in June of 2003. Then in August of that same year, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Oh, wow. Okay.

Yeah. So yes, we postponed until I went through treatment and had everything. You know, my hair growing back and all that. So we got married in, November, as in for. So that's. We would have been married longer, but we decided to postpone.

What's that? Like a breast cancer? What was that whole journey? I mean, not the whole journey, but, like, how do you how how do you make sense of that in hindsight?

Well, actually, at first.

You really don't. Yeah. You know, the, the the weight of it. I remember and probably always will. When the doctor called us in after her surgery, she had a lumpectomy and they knew right away. So they called us back to the right.

Parents were here.

And it was it was surreal. You know, it was one of those times where if you're on a movie, you're watching a movie in one of those, zoom, Dolly things happens.

Yeah. We're. Yeah.

Yeah, it was, you asked how how we handled it or how it was. It just wasn't at first. It was very.

A this is something that he.

Was in.

It bothered him for a little while. He was the actual actually the one who told me I had cancer. No, no, no. Because the doctor had met with them while I was in recovery and still, you know, asleep. He came in and I, we I knew it was a lumpectomy. I didn't know it was going to be whether it was cancer or not. His knew it was large enough, had to be removed, and I was hoping it would be benign. He came in and I said, well, so what's going on? And he was the one who told me, and he always felt bad about it. But I was like, you know, I would rather someone who loved me, tell me this news than a doctor who's probably told hundreds of people this same thing.

So he felt bad. But I was like, you know what? It was probably the best case scenario, that you were the one to break the news to me. Then I at that time, we didn't know what it would entail. And we met with the, surgeon later, and she talked about, the chemotherapy I would be doing and whether I would get a mastectomy and all of that. And, she actually said a lot of man, because we were just engaged. This time. We will leave when this diagnosis, comes, you know, comes around. And it made him so angry. And my dad, though, right, was sitting right beside him and under his breath, he goes, you better not like that. So it was a bit of a threat. Yeah. My dad was a former police officer. And, you know, it's like kind of try to, you know, the that as persona. If he could, he, he was like, you better not. But he was never going to. But it really offended him.

Glenn, did it cross your mind? I mean, it crossed my mind as you're here, you're not quite. You're not quite married. It's the beginning of a thing. And then you get this. No, no.

Never once, you know, we had been together long enough that I knew that this was the match for me. And it it just looked like another challenge, you know, I guess part of it is this is a long story. I'm going to encapsulate it in one sentence. If you've got the one, you don't let that go. You know, it's

I'll bite because I don't believe in the one. And I am interested to know how, why why you found that language. And what does that mean to you. Like when you, how did you understand the one.

The way I see it is that Jodie and I, connect on every level, and that is so rare. I mean, I've had other relationships before where that didn't happen. In fact, none of them. And I think that we met at the right stage of each of our lives, I think that we had done what we wanted to do professionally. So there wasn't anything like we're going to, you know, get up and move every 3 or 4 years and disrupt things and personally, it was just at every turn. It was just, this is a fit. This is a great fit.

Jerry, did you have that sense that this is.

Yeah, I mean, definitely I who joke that this is his second marriage, my first and then like, I mean only but but yeah, we, we have the, the connection, the sense of humor, the same set of beliefs and, and it just it it just feels like this is the right fit and it really I couldn't ask for anything better because he is such a natural caregiver where I'm and I'm the one through our relationship who is needed the the caregiving. So it's you know, he's just such a giving person and, and I, you know, just really, really we connected and that's where I'm like, yes, I do believe in the one. And I think that we found we were lucky enough to find, find that.

I didn't think that the one was possible or a viable thing until I met Jodie. I was in your camp.

Yeah. How fast did you know? Between December 28th and, July, January 31st or whatever? Almost like.

Well, I looked across the room, but it was we were at a friend's party and that's where we met. And she was across the room in. My friend met me at the door. He said, hey, what's going on? And I said, I want you to introduce me around to everybody, but be sure to introduce me to that chick who's in the kitchen there, but don't do it right away.

He's trying to be slick about it, but I kind of knew. But I did exactly what you shouldn't do, you know, he was introduced to me and I was talking to somebody. So I continued that conversation and he left to another room and I went in and I was like, hey, I'm sure you probably forgotten my name because I forgot yours. And he's like, no, Jodie. And I'm like, okay, well, let me look at you introduce yourself to me again, because we had that, I wouldn't. I made eye contact in the kitchen. There was something there, and I just was so distracted that I forgot his name and totally did what you shouldn't do to make a good impression. It's like, yeah, I forgot you are.

Yeah. But, but yeah, it we probably, I don't know, we we dated. We, just found each other, you know, we took off. We took a while before we would just say L-word. We didn't say the didn't say love for a while. I will admit that I was probably more commitment phobic, just because I just hadn't found anybody, and I was just, like, I didn't want to rush into anything. And. And so I kind of hesitated on her saying it. And you even sent me flowers and just put L at the bottom. But then I was the first one to tell him after he was telling me a really dirty joke. That was just crap.

Still the dirtiest joke I know.

Dirty. So crack me up.

You're going to have to tell us. Yeah.

No no no no.

An s f.

And it was not safe.

Us. It's not the aristocrats, is it? The aristocrats did not.

It wasn't. It wasn't about the joke eggs. No, it wasn't about the joke, but it was just. We were year we were laying in bed to be nude. Castle and he was telling me. And I just was like, you know what? I have never felt this comfortable with anybody. And I just said it right then and there. I was like, you know, I love you. And he's like, okay, I didn't expect.

And I was like, I'm going to have to tell you more dirty jokes.

But it wasn't about the joke. It was just, here we are on a Saturday morning and he's just telling me this, this joke that you know, I'm like, okay, it's kind of funny, but you know what? I just love this moment. But, but yeah. And I think to kind of go back a little bit to the, cancer diagnosis to is that was not our only, time with cancer. Okay. In 2009, this is after we've been married. It metastasized. So, for metastatic breast cancer. Yeah.

I'm sorry. You just use the word have, like you have or you had a. Where are we?

I have, I have. Okay. That's. Well, I still have to take some medicine on a regular basis. So just real quick recap, 2009, it metastasized, spread to my sternum, which means it spread to your bone. It's still breast cancer, but it's in the bone. Had to go through treatment. Then it. I had another recurrence in 2012 and that was to a lymph node, then another 1 in 2016. Since then, knock on wood I have not had any. I get scans every six months. I haven't had any other recurrence. But I still take a targeted, therapy medicine each night. And I still go to oncologist every nine weeks. And then I also, have since been diagnosed with bladder cancer. But that is all self-contained. So cancer's been a huge part of our, our lives, if not from the beginning. So unfortunately, he stayed not a fortunately he stayed the time for I know unfortunately, the cancer did too.

Yeah.

So yeah. Fortunately not. Yeah.

Well this has been great. And, you'll get a bunch of the quotes on this as I'm out.

Yeah. See you later.

No, fortunately, he say, but unfortunately, the cancer did as well. So it's been. Yeah. So technically, once you're stage four, you kind of always stage four because it means it metastasized in your body. So I always have to get scans and, just, you know, can take some targeted therapies to address that.

All right. So, like, I don't have cancer. I've never had cancer. I've been spared the the the the the whatever. I don't know what the right word is, but, I hear things like stage four and metastasized, and I'm like, you have three months to live or something like that, like you, but you seem like you're just living it up, and you have the whole thing. You feel like, what? What's the deal? Are you.

Well, they call very, very early. It's because it's not always it's game like again, it was a small lesion in my bone. So technically it did spread to another part of my body, which makes it metastasized. If it had just been, you know, because, once it goes to a bone or an organ, then you have to always worry about it appearing anywhere. So. But it's not what it used to be because of technology. I've, I've gone through again, you know, had to go through chemo and radiation one time. During those, those three recurrences, and I had to go through the whole thing. He shaved my head, three of the four times. One time I did not lose my hair because we were Twinkies.

For a little while.

We were Twinkies were a little less great. But it's not just you.

Shave your head. Probably not. You're like, you.

Know, I would I he was already gone.

Yeah. You're like, look, it's not that bad. Trust me. Yeah, yeah. See a little extra, extra suntan lotion.

That's right. But, but yeah, I mean, we, we do worry there's gonna be another recurrence, but it's one of those things that I'm. Yes, I'm in. I guess I'm in remission, but I'm still taking, a targeted therapy now. Yeah, I still have to monitor and I still have to watch it because it has escaped just the, breast tissue in that area.

To your point, a minute ago about. So you've got only so many days or months to live. Yeah. These days they have started to treat cancer in a lot of cases that would have been that dire. 40 years ago or 50 years ago as a chronic condition. Or bladder cancer, for example. They're treating it with immunotherapy. Okay. And you know, it's a genetically modified, polio. Tuberculosis, I can't remember.

Which is this.

I think they inject into the bladder, the immune cells go into overdrive. That's amazing. They kill that virus, and they kill out any cancer cells. It's things that were, to me, science fiction. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's what I guess. A hidden benefit of us not coming up with the ultimate cure for cancer. Yeah, we've got so many options now and so many treatments that it's not. It's not all doom and gloom always. Yeah.

Yeah. My if I'd had my diagnosis you know 1980s or even 90s I probably would not be a lot, I would not be alive. But they created enough in terms of right radical treatments that you have to get done to fight back the cancer and then other treatments that help prevent things like I think the the drug I'm on kind of prevents the proteins that feed the cancer from forming or something. I, I don't know the science, I just trust my oncologist. But, it's like I'm on I've been on this drug for, well, since 2016. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. Ten years.

Yeah. So because the other times we did different things, we did a different infusion for a year and stuff like that. So, so yeah, it's it's a very different world. But it's, it is, it is helped us I think put things in perspective. Because we've been through such, you know, trying times where during my first diagnosis, I mean, he's, he is having to hold my head up when, because I'm so sick. And again, like I said, shaving my head, feeling, feeling helpless, because he couldn't do anything while I was. Because, you know, chemo is not is not for the, you know, for for the faint of heart is a tough thing, particularly the first round. And I don't know if it's the last three have not been as bad because of perspective, like I've gone through that the worst.

But he did a great job of being a caregiver, and even though he felt helpless in terms of trying, he did what he could to to help me. And it just put things, so many things in perspective for us. So we don't we don't sweat the small stuff as much.

Yeah. You know, I think, cancer is one of these interesting ones because it's this disease that we've sort of culturally all accepted that you fight it. I'm going to kick cancer's ass, right? Like, and we don't think about that with autism or glaucoma, or depression or, you know, we think wheat. And I think we should. I think we ought to take anything that's an imposition on our on our well-being and on our way of life is a thing that we ought to combat. And, for couples, what I think is really cool about your story is that you're you you're clear that it's this thing that we're fighting together like that we put that we put cancer out there, even though it's in here and we've said, how do the two of us come arm in arm? Alcoholism. We don't fight alcoholism, right?

We just, we suffer depression. You know, we we, you know, we're afflicted with anxiety. So I think it's cool that you not not that you have this living metaphor, but to to be able to acknowledge that it's drawn us closer together because it's given us something else and to, to, to work on or to work against. I think that's a really critical, really critical element for a lot of couples that they don't have. They don't have the benefit of cancer, which is a super weird thing to say. But, yeah, but they always they all have they all have the benefit of something that they're combating. You know, even if it's apathy or atrophy, you know, and when couples wrap their heads around that and they have a, they have a chance to actually.

Actually. Yeah, you're on the same team, you're on a team together. And that's, that has drawn us closer for sure.

Yeah.

Yeah. It's again, like you said, it's it is one of those things that. Sure. Would we choose not to have it. Yeah. But we have seen the better part. Like the, the best part of this is the friendships. We formed our oncologist I mean, every time if I go in myself, they miss him like where's where's Glenn? And I'm like at one point during the during the pandemic when I still had to go in and get my, you know, they were only that one person. I actually FaceTimed him to the nurses because they missed seeing him.

Like the mascot now.

Yeah, yeah. When I was in the chemo lab, they were so great because he would he would always go and make sure I had everything I needed my blanket, my my water, my snacks, everything. And then he'd want to stick around. And they were like, but he he would need to get some work done. They're like, hey, come here, we got an office we're not using here. Set this up and you could set his laptop up in there and then come out and check on me and go and do some work and stuff. But we formed some great friendships and we formed a team like we're in it together again. He goes to all of my, you know, scans most of my doctor's appointments. Again. They miss him when he's not there.

I'm I almost feel like they like him more because I'm like, hello, I'm right here. Yeah. No. Yeah. They're like, Where's Glenn? Yeah. So it's he he made some a lot of friends. One and he was always very focused. And one nurse would call him smiley, ironically, when he, when I was getting my chemo because he was just very focused. Very.

It was it wasn't because I was smiling.

No. He was very much during.

The early phase and I.

Rock. Yeah.

Yeah. Yes.

I was like, she's not feeling well. I mean, you get her some, she's she's feeling a little upset or to her stomach. Can we go ahead and give her some something now. And do we have any crackers? Sheen's crackers. So he was and he wasn't, like, demanding. But it was funny. He was very focused. And so she's like, all right, smiley. But then they got to know him and it was good.

Yeah, she's great.

Yeah.

That's funny. All right. So you're good at you're good at bonding together in opposition to this, health condition. What are you bad at?

Ooh.

How do you take that one.

I would say for me, it is patient and understanding that people do things different ways. That is probably one of the grumbles we have is I'm a throw her away or he's a stacker. And Pilar, I'm a get things done, you know. Now like if I have five things and I can get four of them done now, I do those, even if one of them is just the priority. And he's the other way where I have, I have five things, but one's a priority. I focus on that only and I'm like, no, no, no, you can get these other four. He's done really quick. He is. But this is more important. So we have opposite views and it because we work together that is something that normally couples wouldn't have to worry about how someone works and prioritizes.

That's probably at least for me. I know I struggle and I try to work on understanding that, okay, people do things different ways. I would do it this way, let that go. But that would probably be something that we kind of grumble about. I do not agree. Yes, she's right. You don't have to agree. People do. Technically.

Yeah.

So that would be me. I don't know what you call that as much as just. And I think I don't have patients he things like he says I have patients but I don't really but yeah I think that's our biggest, our biggest conflict I think and that's one reason why, you know, we we work together. We always try to have a meeting and I try to, you know, step back if I can. But I, you know, I do like to use my organization skills and kind of focus things. But sometimes I kind of go can go or can go a little overboard, I guess. Now go ahead, your turn.

Wow.

What what she said.

I yeah, yeah, I second that. I think for me, I'm not diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm A.D.D.. Okay. I really if I have to focus my attention for more than 10 or 15 minutes, I get antsy. Yeah. Nervous. Yeah. And that just plays havoc on organization, on project progress and things like that. And I think I'm better at it now, but I'm still. I wouldn't call myself good at it. Yeah. And that brings up I know for Jodi it brings up some angst.

A little bit. Yeah. Just the other day or not day. But like few weeks ago when we were setting up Christmas decorations, I, I, I went and we both went into the garage, got, I got a box of something and I was expecting him to get a box of something. I am in there and then I, I'm like, where did he go? I walk out, he's in the laundry room, which is in, you know, a room off of our garage because he's like, we need to get some towels done. I'm like, we were just doing Christmas decorations. Why did you wander off? Did you tell me just. Oh, yeah. Because I'm so sorry. Sorry. Let me get the box. I'll get these towel started and then, you know, and I'm like, okay, but that's his A.D.D. or whatever, you know?

And I'm just like, okay, he's not here right now. What is he doing? And I try to try to be patient, but that's where I struggle because I'm like, we were just doing this. We were just laying in boxes.

Yeah, 82 and ADHD is a really good example of, at least in my office, this imposition or this condition that we don't battle. We're not we're not kicking Eddie's ass. Right. We're actually just annoyed by how, like, I can't remember anything. And why aren't you on time? And we were just talking about this and why can't I get. And it's, it's it. Couples get into a lot of trouble because they don't. They don't objectify it. They just, they they make it about their partner and say, this is who you are, not a thing that you that's being imposed upon you. So I wonder if that's not a mindset shift. Not that I'm proposing strictly for the to.

No, but just in.

General, it's like we have to figure out how to, again, externalize these things so that we don't punish our partner for having a condition that they really don't have any control over.

Yeah, that's a good way to put it, because, I mean, I really do think that I probably do get more frustrated when Glen when I should be more frustrated with what he has and figure out how we can work together to, you know, figure this out. You know, there are there boundary tricks and, you know, treatments and, and things that you can do to help in those situations. But I guess we just didn't really think about that. But that's a very good point in terms of like repositioning it. Well.

I tend to think that like, almost everything is about mindset, you know, because you can have tips and tricks and tactics all day long, but if you're wielding them in an angry way, or you're wielding them with resentment, or if you're wielding them with some kind of grandiosity because I read the book and you didn't, then those tips and tricks and tactics aren't going to be helpful. But if you're like, hey, we're going to war against this cancer or against this A.D.D. or against this depression or this addiction. Like, then you you can actually kind of test things out, try things out and see, did that work? And how do we do and what can we do better next time? And is this this is you know.

So now that's a that is a really good point because I always like think why don't you put it on a post-it note and I'll even put post-it notes in his. But then you're right. I mean, that's it's just not his way. But instead of me realizing that it's not him actually saying, Jody, I hate your post-it notes and I hate you, and I don't want to do what you say. It's a case of his mind just works differently. And if he sees something in front of him, that's what's going to be where his attention is. No matter what list I put together for him to do. Yeah.

True. Yeah.

Well, thanks for the therapy.

Oh, yeah. You're welcome. No problem. I'm glad that this platform exists for that. I'll tell you one thing I've been saying to clients this week in particular, because everybody's coming in, it's New Year's, and, maybe I just an interesting thought experiment for you or anybody who's listening, but, I, I've been asking them, do you have any idea what your partner's number one complaint about their marriage is? So, Glenn, do you have any idea what Jodi's number one complaint about her marriage is?

No.

Okay, Jodi, do you have any idea what Glenn's number one complaint about his marriage is?

Well, probably maybe me nagging about lists, but. All right.

Maybe.

Post-It notes.

Post-It.

Notes. Most people in my office, you know, there's a problem, and they are aware of it, and they're willing to give it a name. So they're like, oh, yeah, my number one. This lady just let the week this just last week she said, I said, I said to her, I said sorry. I said to him, do you know what your wife's number one complaint about her marriage is? He's like, I'm not sure. And I go, I know. And I looked at her and I said, do you know? And she she goes, I know. And and I said, do you, do you want to guess? And so he said, he said, is it that she doesn't feel heard? And I was like, bingo. And she's like, yes, we got it.

So my new thing right now and I don't know how long this will last because I have this like hip pocket theory that February is the new January, so I get at least another few weeks out of it. But is how New Year's Eve 2026? How about you just effort that the number one thing that is going to be true is that her complaint is not going to be that she doesn't feel heard. It can be something else like, I don't make lists or I don't make very good lasagna, or I have, still haven't figured out how to, you know, put in the car seat, but it's not going to be. My wife doesn't feel heard by me. As, like your your your effort for the year that I'm going to remove this this complaint, this one.

But, you know, I don't know whether it's a strength or, red flag or pink flag that you're not aware of each other's number one complaint. Maybe you just don't have them, but, I think understanding what your partner's grappling with and what their, what their issue is, I think I think we have to play the long game in terms of, in terms of just like you are with cancer, just like you are, that you got to play the long game versus the the short one. So, I don't know.

That's a real way to look at it, you know, and to look at your New Year's resolution is that you won't be contributing to someone's negativity as opposed to your changing anything. Well, whatever you're doing.

Yeah, to me, it's more like, I'm not going to do nothing. I'm not going to I'm not going to let the same story exist or take root or just be the same. Right? How many people do you know who year over year? They're like, yeah, same old, same old. Yeah. We're still doing with this. Yeah. He still doesn't know she's still a and I'm saying, what if we just take that out of the equation and just make it interesting. You know, the next year my problem is going to be something else, which at least gives us something creative to work on.

What? You're saying there could be another problem. So it's like something else will still be a problem. Yeah. But no. And it's yeah, that is very interesting to kind of kind of think about about that. And I, we do joke sometimes it's like, you know, you try to put things like in, I feel stupid. So yeah, you'll be like, I feel that you're being a goober right now, and I feel that you're just messing things up instead of being. I feel unheard or something like that. But I'll turn around and, you know, it's still, I feel, but it's just not necessarily as well.

As the way you phrased it. It's not a feeling. It's a.

Judgment. Oh, it's a it's.

Feelings, feelings or things that happen inside of our body. And when you say, I feel like and especially when you say, I feel like you, we've moved outside of our body and into something else and, yeah, you know, got to be careful about that. I want to hear about, what you guys are doing. Like, what's your what's your stick? Because I want people to know that you have a, way to be of service to couples and whatnot, and then, tell you one more story, and then we get to. We head into our year. But tell me what you guys, what do you what are Jody and Glen about?

Well, our Couples Inc podcast is dedicated to people who own a business, are in business together and are a couple. It kind of self-explanatory. They're what we try to do is the time that we've been in business together has been, what, 12 years now?

No. Well, 14.

Okay. The time that we've been in business together, we kind of learned a pattern and a rhythm that goes with our couple hood, and we try to obviously, we try to take, current business news and things like that and integrate into our podcast. But we also try to give insight what insight we can about our journey so far into the podcast and try to be of benefit to people who may be just starting their business. There's a lot of people now that are doing that with the economic situation and the landscape and work being what it is and what it has been the past, 8 or 10 years.

Yeah, part of it is we we would tell people we work together and people are like, oh my God, I could never do that. I would kill my husband or I would never. I'm like, first of all, why so violent? But the second is like, well, that's that's something different. Maybe you can't work together, but I find working with, with Glenn the best because there's a built in trust and inherent same mission, same goal, but sometimes the podcast discussion is just as much for us as it is for the let's talk about, you know, what are some things that are our, you know, coming up when a couple works together that we need

to work through, things we should do, things we should stop doing. Finding and identifying your role, how to set boundaries. These are things that we'll talk and have a conversation. We might bring in an expert to talk to us about things, whether it's a couples counselor or, something business related. But part of it is just we got a chance to work on a project together outside of our client business. We work, we have a marketing firm. Besides that, we wanted to work together and we were like, you know what? We can't be the only ones who work together. And they say, when you're working with a spouse, that's different than working with any other business partner.

Yeah. Right. So the two businesses that you have, you have your marketing firm and then also your podcast, is that what you're talking about. Yeah.

And business is called Living Pink Communications because I'm a breast cancer.

Oh right.

So we're like living pink instead of, you know, we're not dying from breast cancer living together. So living pink communications and then Couples Inc podcast.com is where you can find out more about our podcast. We have two episodes a month, first and third Wednesday. And like I said, we have conversations. Sometimes you bring in interviews and you just, you know, we want to talk about topics that are affecting people who own a micro business, small business, or even a larger business. But there are a couple and how they can kind of manage the two sides.

Cool, I love it, I love it great. And then I want to tell you, thank you for that. I hope you guys, particularly if you're listening in, you're in business with your partner that check out Couples Inc, with the Jodi and Glenn. And then, I want to tell you about this one quick story, because, it's tied to this other story I told you, which is, I met Waymo from November of 1995. We went on our first date on January 11th of 1996. I was in this mindset where I was determined not to tell a woman that I loved her unless I was going to marry her. So I had told a lot of girls that I loved them, and I was 22 at the time. I don't think I knew what love was, but I, I was like, not going to do it.

I wasn't going to do it. So we were together for like a whole year, about halfway through 1996. In the summer, Rebecca told me she loved me and I was like, oh, okay, thanks. I did the thing, got thanks. You know?

Oh, no.

But, funny thing, I know, I know, I know. Then in, January 11th, 1997, I took Rebecca to the Olive garden, and I, we went to, we rented, a VHS of the American President. And on that day, I told her that I loved her, and I proposed. So our first date was January 11th, 1996. I was we were engaged on January 11th, 1997. That's the first time I ever said I love you. And then, I still love her. I still love her. And, next week we're going to go, to the Olive garden, and we're going to watch the American president, and we're going to sail off into the rest of the next, the next whatever adventure that we have in front of us now that our kids have left home. But, that is fate. Just putting a little bow on our on our, on our storytelling today.

Happy anniversary. Thanks, mate. Your first date.

On this.

Story was great.

I'm really glad to have talked to you. I, thank you. I hope that, folks will check out your podcast. And I'm really, just really grateful to hear about your story, particularly around the way you've navigated this cancer situation, because, not a lot of people are, listen, my world are, approaching it with as much courage and tenacity and connection as you guys are demonstrating. So thank you for that.

Thanks for having us. Absolutely enjoyed this.